Mary-Elizabeth Briscoe

Thank you for making time to visit my virtual space.  Here you will find my Life Changes, Solution Focused Coaching page where you can explore the benefits of life and business coaching as well as ongoing workshops focusing on life's transitions.

On the Life Changes, Blog page are my musings on life changes as well as updates on my forthcoming memoir, The First Signs of April.

I welcome your comments and emails and appreciate you spending time here.

 

Remembering...

I just opened the email for my first pages edit of the layout for my book.  35 years almost to the hour of when you chose to leave this world, and there it was.  Serendipitous perhaps but I wonder...

Interesting how this day has passed over these years. Some without much notice at all, others with more pain than I thought I could bare, and now today I'm preparing for my book to be published. The First Signs of April-the title that you and I chose for some book I'd write one day, and when I hesitated to write this blog I remembered my story and that hiding was no longer how I want to live my life.  

It's strange that even 35 years later I can feel the pain of that day deep within my being and how it is all a piece of who I am today.  I even still miss you sometimes, our walks, talks, dreams we had for our future and today I wish I could call and hear you laugh.  Hear you tell me how happy you are about my book and that it's okay to share my truth. The sadness and missing you never really does go away.  It ebbs and flows, tightens and releases.  But that's grief, isn't it?  

Today I left an offering of daffodils at the beach for you. My friend Helen knew somehow that yellow flowers would be a perfect choice when she suggested it. So, I bundled up against the harsh wind and cold of this not so Spring day and walked the beach.  As I made my way up and over the rocks, I saw snow covered sand. Directly in front of me, the snow outlined the sand in the shape of a heart. Seriously, a heart. I cried and laughed all at the same time remembering the heart shaped stones I used to find and give to you.  Do you remember the ones I'd find that looked like half a heart to give to you?  I find so many hearts still.  Heart stones, sea glass, in the clouds or in the sand, everywhere.  Maybe you already know that. So today's heart was the perfect place for me to place your flowers in.  I left them there with a heart shaped stone I'd found walking the beach earlier for you, for us.                                       

Our love was never worth your life, but it was worth the way it touched our hearts and it is there I will carry you the rest of my days.